May 2020
A thank-you letter to your eating disorder self
Dear my eating disorder self,
I am writing you this letter to say thank you for the things you have done for me over the past seven years. As my world fell to pieces, you came along and became my rock. You became my only constant and the only thing I could rely on. You became the only thing I could trust. You made me feel in control as my entire world turned upside down and it all felt completely out of control.
You've shown me how dedicated I can be.
How strong and resilient I can be during tough times.
You've taught me, I like to be organised, like structure and am driven for success.
You've protected me when I've been scared, protected me from being emotionally hurt and gave me ways to get through the struggles.
You gave me something to hold onto, hold close to and believed trusting this voice would get me through the tough times.
You made me feel like i could accomplish anything, That we could do anything, that together we'd be unbreakable.
You helped me find other things to fixate on and think about when I was stressed or anxious.
You helped me numb the dark thoughts and feelings.
You gave me certainty and routine.
You made me feel like I was finally back in control of my life.
Thank you for allowing me to still be holding onto hope and continuing to be reaching out for help.
Thank you for always being there during the good and the bad times.
And despite the loads of things we have been through physically, emotionally and mentally.
Thank you for not giving up on me,
Thank you for giving me so many chances,
Thank you for allowing me to keep fighting, even when at times I felt like that there was no hope left and I wanted to give up,
Thank you for keeping me alive and giving me the time to fight for my future healthy self.
Love Hannah x
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